Saturday, 9 November 2013
A Hatblog
I've just coined a new phrase - a hatblog or maybe it should be blogtrick . Three blog posts in a row.
Blogfest 2013
I'm supposed to be attending this today but I'm not . It was all too complicated to get from here to Kings Cross in the pouring rain with a couple of crutches . I would have scoffed the buffet lunch by now and had at least 3 chocolate brownies from the Primrose Hill Bakery between sessions. I'd have laughed at Jo Brand , marvelled at Lionel Shriver's writing genius and made a few good friends along the way .
But instead I'm sat at home feeling sorry for myself and wondering why I don't just do the blogging rather than spend the day talking about it , in a grumpy fug. So here we are - my own Blogfest blog post which is just as OK as if I'd schlepped all the way to Central London and learnt how to be a better blogger. Oh and I've saved myself a fortune in cab fares, train tickets or car parking depending on which ever mode of transport I'd have chosen, which I'd already spent online by 10am on fripperies and nonsense but it did feel good and I can look forward to my parcels arriving next week. Incidentally , have you tried Amazon Prime yet ? Do yourself a fortune and don't. It will save you from near certain bankruptcy.
But instead I'm sat at home feeling sorry for myself and wondering why I don't just do the blogging rather than spend the day talking about it , in a grumpy fug. So here we are - my own Blogfest blog post which is just as OK as if I'd schlepped all the way to Central London and learnt how to be a better blogger. Oh and I've saved myself a fortune in cab fares, train tickets or car parking depending on which ever mode of transport I'd have chosen, which I'd already spent online by 10am on fripperies and nonsense but it did feel good and I can look forward to my parcels arriving next week. Incidentally , have you tried Amazon Prime yet ? Do yourself a fortune and don't. It will save you from near certain bankruptcy.
The Black Dog
Those who suffer with it will know what this means. It's not good . It descends like a black mist or the analogy I like to use is a drop of black black ink ( gone a bit Dylan Thomas there ) in a glass of water.
So, if I'm going to have to live with my own black dog I might as well give it a name. I'm thinking of Shaggy ( too Scooby Doo ? ) or Baldrick or maybe something human like Percy , yes Percy is good - slightly silly, slightly squiffy a bit toff like.
I'll then have to buy it one of those long plastic scoop things that you a fling a ball with. They hadn't been invented in my dog-owning days , more's the pity. I'd scrunch up my blackest thoughts into a ball shape and fling into the middle distance where it would lie undiscovered for months.
Then of course you'd need the pooper scooper, the personalised dog bowl , the woollen car rug for those damp dog walk days and a squeaking rubber chicken. With that lot in tow , I couldn't help but cheer up = job done.
So, if I'm going to have to live with my own black dog I might as well give it a name. I'm thinking of Shaggy ( too Scooby Doo ? ) or Baldrick or maybe something human like Percy , yes Percy is good - slightly silly, slightly squiffy a bit toff like.
I'll then have to buy it one of those long plastic scoop things that you a fling a ball with. They hadn't been invented in my dog-owning days , more's the pity. I'd scrunch up my blackest thoughts into a ball shape and fling into the middle distance where it would lie undiscovered for months.
Then of course you'd need the pooper scooper, the personalised dog bowl , the woollen car rug for those damp dog walk days and a squeaking rubber chicken. With that lot in tow , I couldn't help but cheer up = job done.
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