Weight Loss to date

Just got back from tonight's weigh in. Chuffed to bits as I've lost 5lbs this week which brings the grand total to just 1 lb away from 3 stone. And in case you'd ever wondered .... this is what that looks like in equivalent books !

Remember these ?

I bought them a couple of weeks ago,  the idea being that I'd be able to get into them within the month , hopefully . Well guess what ? I'm WEARING them , yes actually wearing them and boy does it feel good.
Only trouble is I feel compelled to approach complete strangers in the street to tell them. I've just got back from the supermarket where the cashier asked me how I was . "I'm fine and I'm wearing a pair of size 14 jeans " came my reply. Poor woman, she was probably only being polite and had no desire to know my hip measurements. Still , it feels SO good.

Coming Home

Buy this or download it .... 100% of the proceeds go to the Army Benevolent Fund - that has to be the best thing you can do today and if we all buy it , it should get to No. 1 and then Tony Bleugh can stick that in his pipe and smoke it.

Oh and hats off to the father of the solder killed in action in Afghanistan who spurned Mr Blair at last weeks memorial service at St Paul's in memory of those killed in action in Afghanistan. When proffered his hand to shake , doubtless with that accompanying inane grin he perfected whilst in office, the father roared at him "How dare you offer your hand - it's covered in my son's blood" . What a hero.

I've just lost 4 days of my life....

... in bed with ( at the risk of sounding like a bloke ) flu.

If flu were an animal .... Swine flu would be about a 5 , a hamster would be about 1 , guinea pig 2 etc then this would be a whopping woolly mammoth , weighing in at number 10. Now I am sounding like a bloke. I'm not sure what it was but I never want it again. I'm not going to bore you with the details .

You can tell how delirious with fever I was .... I awoke from a nightmarish sweat on the Sunday night to see the Tin Tin Twins go through to the next round on X Factor - see how deluded I must have been ?

For any men reading this , what women want when they are ill is the following :

1. Occasional room service.... ie. an unsolicited cup of tea on  a tray maybe once or twice during the day.
2. Fresh bedlinen, volunteered with good grace, at some stage following 3 nights of sweating.
3. To have the children taken care of without having to worry about whether they being fed, loved and generally taken care of.

What we DON'T want is :

1. "I didn't bring you up a cup of tea because you didn't drink the last one"
2. " I suppose I'm going to have to change the sheets now you've been sweating in them "
3. To finally emerge after 3 days of fever to find the children still in their PJs in the afternoon having eaten their way through their own body weight in chocolate chip cookies having spent the last 
18 hours glued to the XBox.

X Factor

So who's watching then or rather who isn't ?

I reckon it's a one horse race. By rights Joe should win but knowing what a perverse bunch we Brits are, it'll probably end up being the Tin Tin Twins. Heaven help us.

I watched Cheryl Cole strut her stuff on the Sunday night and felt it somewhat ironic that she should have berated the ex pole dancers last week for coming on stage wanting to be taken seriously as professional singers but wearing scanty, boob revealing, peep show clothing. She appeared to be wanting us to take her new solo career as a Pop Princess seriously and yet ... she appeared to be wearing scanty, boob revealing, peep show clothing. Hmmm ..... people who love in glass houses etc. Still she's way too gorgeous for anyone to be cross with for very long and her closing words about the outrage of the Tin Tin Twins surviving made up for any clothing misdemeanors.

Was I the only one wondering who the balding, orange faced, geriatric 'Frank from Eastenders' lookalike sat next to Whitney was ? And yes I quite like some of Whitney's classic stuff but what's with all the Diva worship thing ? More evidence of our addiction to celebrity I suppose. The pop wannabes just wanna be famous. I wonder if they're born spouting all that drivel about only ever wanting to sing and not wanting to go back , wherever back is and living the dream and wanting it all so badly ? I don't think they really know what they want , they just want it now whatever ' it ' is.

Having said all of that I'm still hopelessly addicted and will be for the next goodness knows how many weeks. And isn't Dermot tiny or is everyone just wearing 8" platforms ?

Spanx

Sounds sort of naughty doesn't it ? It's actually a product that you can wear - the idea being that you gather up all your spare rolls of fat and squeeze them into a kind of body stocking made from industrial strength lycra , possibly re-inforced with iron girders judging by the way it felt when I tried one on today.

I also learnt 3 things today ....

1. Hipster jeans and Bridget Jones style BIG pants are not a good combo.

2. Trying on clothes that are a size too small is a good thing , isn't that why they invented lycra?

3. I am very shallow . I should be celebrating my new found vitality and health now that I've lost 35 lbs but all I can think of is buying new clothes. I'll be reading Hello magazine before you know it .

NIce to be a Student again

I'm really enjoying the feeling of being a student again. Spent the day at the Special Needs show in London collecting resources and literature for my studies. It was rather strange collecting my badge at reception with my new status emblazoned across it.

My original student days were bliss. I don't remember doing any work whatsoever. Lord only knows how I got away with it. The status of mature student however brings with it a need for a slightly more grown up attitude to my studies and course assignments. Now I know why my boys procrastinate over their homework.

I think I may have seriously under-estimated the workload that comes with this course. Still, at least I don't have the distraction of Freshers Week to contend with but I must admit it did make me feel rather young again seeing my name in print alongside the word 'Student' .

That pink little cube

On my wardrobe door , I have hanging a new acquisition . I've just returned from my favourite and exclusive designer boutique ( Sainsbury's) where I purchased a new pair of jeans for a tenner. And the nicest thing about them ? On the hanger they have a little pink plastic cube with the number 14 proudly displayed. Who's have thought it ? In 7 short weeks I've gone down through the sizes from 22 all the way to 14.

Granted I can hardly do the zip up but with a little persuasion and so long as I adopt the 'lying flat on my back on the bed' position,  I reckon they'll be on by the end of next week. of course I won't actually be able to breathe whilst wearing them but I reckon you have to suffer a little in the name of fashion and anyway , breathing is terribly over-rated.

Way to Go ...

I've just had coffee with a friend ( who shall remain nameless as she doesn't want to tempt fate) who told me that when she dies she'd like to be buried in a Fortnum and Mason's hamper.
If the Egyptian Pharaohs could go to the other side with all their worldly treasures buried alongside them why shouldn't we take along a tin of fois gras and a bottle of port to see us on our way. Way to go.

Mobile Phones : Curse or Blessing - Discuss

Today they definitely fell into the curse category . I cycled with my youngest to his tennis club this morning and as I sat and watched him and his tennis buddies cavorting about on court my eye was drawn to a small boy trying to engage his Dad in a game of football on a nearby pitch . The little lad kicked the ball towards his Dad who caught it under his foot and kept it there rather than return it to his son. Why ? Because he was on his mobile phone and that was clearly more important. The little boy kept calling to his Dad to return the ball to no avail. In fact the Dad turned his back on him to continue his phonecall in peace. Eventually the little boy sat down on the grass and sobbed although his father didn't notice. How sad :(

So far ...

... I've lost 2 Delias, 3 Nigellas, 1 Rachel and 5 Jamies in terms of weight loss to date. Sorry guys , I love your cooking, just can't eat so much of it at the moment .