Friday 9 July 2010

Wayne Rooney has a lot to answer for

Is it over yet and if not why not ?

I think I'd rather have election coverage than World Cup on telly and that's saying something. And whilst we're on the subject how come England suddenly start wearing different coloured jerseys ? I thought I was cheering on our white shirted team but was puzzled as to why they all had Germanic sounding names .

Anyway , let me tell you about Wayne. My son has been collecting the World Cup GoGos . Hideous plastic figures of the overpaid and under-talented mob with enlarged heads. Can you picture the concept meeting at the marketing company ? ... " I know , why don't we make a million or several by marketing tacky over priced plastic figures that don't even bear a passing resemblance to the England team and let's make them look as if they've got brain encephalitis ... oh and let's makes sure that no-one can ever collect the whole set by leaving one of them out so that the poor saps ( parents ) have to keep buying them forever ? "

There we were with a handful of the little plastic freaks until one went missing. Turned out to be Wayne Rooney who'd been accidentally hoovered up ( best place for him ) and nearly broke the Dyson. Not content with wreaking havoc with my hoover, the little shiny dwarf then went on to kybosh the mower. He must have got turfed ionto the lawn after being extracted from the Dyson and when my elder son was cutting the grass he got thrown up with the cuttings and socked him on the face. I'm wondering where he's going to pop up next . The bin, if I've got anything to do with it.

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