Defrosting the Fridge

Not the kind of headline grabbing title that might inspire you to read but the I like to blog about the ordinary as well as the extraordinary.

It's Sunday . Eldest son upstairs with girlfriend, youngest glued to the X Box having done 'bear minimum' homework. I'm mid defrost and have just discovered a dead wasp and a mini Mars bar  on the bottom shelf. Not sure how either got there.

If you ever want to know how much oil one tiny jar of pesto contains, try dropping one on a hardwood kitchen floor. The house now smells like an Italian restaurant ( no bad thing ) and also on the up-side , I may never ned to wax that floor again. How many bottle of chilli sauce does one fridge need and why are they all in the fridge anyway? Aren't these thing so choc full of preservative that they'd last a lifetime and beyond ? The rest of the contents reads like a diary of my life. There are un-drunk cartons of Cambridge Diet banana milk, a dozen condiments from last Winter's Sunday roasts, for some reason at least 5 packs of pepperoni, ancient vegetables that have almost taken root, assorted sizes of egg and of course David's beers.

Nothing that would actually constitute a meal unless one whipped up a chill sauce omelet, deep fried in beer batter with mint sauce and horseradish on the side. Which is probably why I've just eaten a mini mars bar for my lunch. I stopped short at the wasp.

If anyone has a recipe for something that requires 5 different types of mustard, most of which are past the sell by date, please let me know.

So new fridge rules ...

One type of mustard only , it has to be Colmans.

Vegetables to be composted before they take root.

Orange juice only , who needs pomegranate and mango.

You can have enough tubs of Philadelphia Extra Light , it's probably only whipped air in any event.

Buy new parmesan grating tub - enough grated parmesan spilled on the fridge floor to keep a pizzeria n business for a year.

Stockpile mini Mars bars , they come in very handy for lunch.