Job Description

I drove behind a van today whose business claimed to embrace the following :

• Mail
• Express
• Fulfillment
• Dangerous Goods
• Conferencing

I'm none the wiser as to what they actually do , maybe their company name - Impulse - would give me a clue ? I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall at their financiers when they presented their business plan - well what we want to do is very impulsive and besides fulfillment we want to deal with dangerous goods . I can only imagine that 'conferencing' was thrown in for good measure to give the package some credibility.

Anyway as they sped off into the distance, squeezing through the traffic lights on amber , it left me wondering how their application must have appeared to their insurers.

Q: Company Name ?

A: Impulse

Q: Nature of Business ?

A: Dangerous Goods ... oh ... and Fulfillment

So, if I were to emblazon my own virtual van with a smattering of things I'd like to describe as my chief activities, it would probably read ...

• Constant Meal Preparation
• Picking up Boys Clothes From Floor
• Ironing
• Cleaning Toilets
• Dangerous Children
• Distinct lack of Fulfillment

Doesn't quite have the same ring to it does it ?