Money talks...

... as they say . Mine says "Goodbye" .

I was contacted by Barclaycard Fraud department on my mobile the other day  A chirpy chap ( vaguely Northern but with a tinge of West Country - it must be so difficult for these PLC's to choose what sort of regional accent to use on their recorded messages when flying their corporate national political correctness banners ) told me that there had been 'unusual activity' on my account. How sweet that they should have noticed.

It transpired that they'd considered the payment of a large sum of money for youngest teen's Segway birthday party ( think giant two wheeled scooter /unicycle type contraption ) alongside a couple of mobility aids, to see me through my imminent period of post knee replacement recuperation, looked suspicious.

It struck me that this must a fun kind of job - spotting suspicious looking spending patterns on credit cards . What else might make their ears prick up ...Donation to the Labour Party alongside fees for private school ?..... Rehab Clinic stay alongside monthly sub to Wines Direct ?

Reminds me of how I used to collect discarded shopping lists from the bottom of supermarket trolleys with the idea of writing a cookery book from their assembled ingredients. The trouble was , trying to fashion a Paella from dog food and toilet cleaner wasn't a goer.