Wednesday, 26 August 2009

Today's the Day...

... I wave goodbye (for 14 weeks ) to real food and instead , punctuate my daily routine with 4 packets of powdered nourishment - a grand total of 500 calories per day.
Tonight , I will be sitting in a room with 12 other people on the same mission - to lose a massive amount of weight. I have a million questions buzzing around in my head and I'm queasily apprehensive , well maybe not that surprising.
Yesterday I ripped my favourite pair of trousers whilst cycling. Ordinarily I'd have been mad with my clumsiness but instead I shouted Yippee - because these will be going straight in the bin in a c couple of months time because they will be WAY TOO BIG.

Here are my 3 big fears :

1. Not losing enough weight
2. Baling out after a month or even less
3. Putting it all back on again when the 14 week programme finishes

I have about 18 other fears to add to the list but I'll limit it to 3 for the time being. Can you tell I'm anxious ?

On a more positive note here are my 3 big incentives:

1. Rather frivolous to be No. 1 but what the hell ( if like me you've spent the last decade buying shapless things in black and grey you'll know exactly what I mean) .... buying nice new clothes. Shallow I know but hey
2. Not being the fattest Mummy in the playground at pick-up time
3. Not loathing myself for being weak-willed and out of control

I read those back and felt quite sad.


  1. Yes that is very sad, and it's all because our society burdens us with an unrealistic picture of what women's bodies should look like! Hope the diet works and that you don't find it too hard.

  2. So by the retreat you will have faded away to a shadow of your former self!!

    I hope it all goes well for you...and in a show of solidarity for you I will purge the village shop of pork pies and ban toffees from the tables!!!!

    Good luck my lovely!!
    Keep those hands busy with scrapping!!
    Cheers Em x

  3. I want to just give you a big hug for all those sad thoughts you've been thinking! In the minds of your friends and family you are the kind, articulate and amazing force in our lives. That is the shape you take and the only one that matters.