Head and shoulders knees and toes ...

... knees and toes.

Funny how things happens eh ? I'd been dreading renewing my Driver's Licence in the almost certain knowledge that it would require finding a Post Office that processed applications, queueing up at said Post Office, finding somewhere to park near said Post Office when raining or all three.

I should have been relieved that I'd get to replace my old photo which looked like either all the blood had drained from my face , or I was off to a Halloween Horror Fancy dress party or that I'd just been told I'd be stuck in a lift with Simon Cowell for at least 3 hours.

But I shouldn't have worried because it was all relatively painless and involved no Post Offices whatsoever. I did it online and I am now officially registered with the direct.gov.uk Gateway or some such which means that I'll never be able to appear on that telly series Hunted where you have to evade capture from  a fiendish team of ex coppers and MI5 people. Presumably I can no longer be considered invisible ( technalogically at least if not socially )  as all of my most personal details ( apart from bra size ) will be available for opportunist cyber hackers logged on to some invincible computer system buried deep in a bunker somewhere under the Mojave desert. Phew.

Not only that but all of my vital organs are now available for hire  donation if I get gunned down by a bunch of disgruntled cyber hackers, ex coppers or MI5 people ... and all because as I was about to log off, a casual little question, casually tossed onto the screen at the penultimate stage of interrogation, asked me if I'd like to save a life or two by donating my vitals and as I was, at that moment, overwhelmingly relieved that the whole process had only taken a few minutes and not the three hours I'd envisaged, I was only too pleased to say yes.

So, if at some distant date you see a knock-kneed, large breasted, blue eyed, wide-hipped person hobbling towards you with a wonky shoulder and ankles that look like they've just endured a 23 hour non-stop flight long haul flight , they may just have received some of my organs - poor buggers .