Wednesday 24 September 2008

Happy 50th

I can honestly say I've never been happier. Mind you , ask me again in the morning when I'm sober. These are the last few hours of my forties. Tomorrow I will be 50. It is wonderful to feel this happy . Can't explain why. It's like an indescribable euphoria. Wish i'd known then what I know now. Catch up with you tomorrow when the red wine's worn off .

Thursday 14 August 2008

What's it all about ?

Summer ? Hate it . Holidays ? Hate them. Food ? A bit of a love hate relationship . Life ? Haven't got a clue. I love that cartoon, of Larson's I think, where dogs are listening to humans and you get to see what the humans are really saying then you get to see what the dogs hear and it goes blah blah blah; Well that's what I think life is like. I trailed around a shopping mall today and just saw all these humans and they might as well have been saying blah blah blah for what it was worth They were all scurrying around clutching tacky clothes in tacky clothes shops hoping that they might look nice in them or what ? Who cares ? They're just clothes . Haven't they got anything more important to do ? I've decided to lose myself in books like I used to do when I was a child. It's simpler , relatively cheap and doesn't make you fat.

Sunday 3 August 2008

Sweden, Chessington and Enfield

Theo's back from Sweden , Max and I went to Chessington and I spent the day scrapbooking in Enfield. In reality I would rather I was in Sweden scrapbooking and my worst enemies were condemned to spend at week at Chessington. It's the centre of the Chav universe and the pavements are ingrained with a decade's worth of MacDonald's grease. I'm sounding snobby now but I can't help it. I'm sure I would have loved Chessington World of Adventures 40 years ago but at the cusp of 50 it's all a bit much. Had to laugh at all the photos that get taken of you automatically on every ride. In every one my knuckles are white , my eyes are closed and my mouth is wide open.... screaming.
David has friends coming round for a BBQ and the neanderthal instinct has taken over . Something about raw meat and a pair of tongs.

Saturday 26 July 2008

The other thing that happens when you have a child or rather children with learning difficulties is that you find out that lots of other children have difficulties too. Suddenly your conversations about interesting topics cease and you become a walking talking advoctae of all thigs with TLAs ( three letter abbreviations) like ASD , SpLD ( suppose that's 4 really) ADD etc etc with an encylopeadic knowledge of resources, blogs, websites and self help manuals. I have a bookshelf that groans under the weight of books on anything to do with learning difficulties. Which is why I've decided to write one of my own but this one will have the sub-title "Tell it Like It Is' rather than the '101 ways to combat dyslexia' variety. Just spent an hour on the phone with another mother whose son has recently been diagnosed with Aspergers and I can almost feel the pain in her voice. I know what lies ahead for her.

Friday 25 July 2008

School holidays. If you were to believe half the mothers round here you'd think that the whole of Teddington was jetting off to the Maldives for a month. They probably are. Money does buy you staying in a 5 star hotel on some island paradise where the most taxing chore of the day is tying to decide what to choose from the a la carte menu every evening. Their kids are probably learning how to sail a yacht single handed whilst mine are out in the scrubby back garden calling each other pooh head and butt face. No sign of DH this evening. Who can blame him. Given the choice what would you rather do - come home to a couple of bickering cranky kids, unload the dishwasher and be kept awake by everyone else's 'having a good time of a summer evening' type laughter or staye out and go boozing with attractive young people in some bar up in town ? No brainer really.
Finding Theo's behaviour challenging to say the least.

Friday 27 June 2008

New School, New Start

The wait is finally over , Theo is starting a new school in September that will finally give him the help that he needs. It's called More House , or heaven in our house. If you'd like to know what it's like to have dyspraxia then read this...
Theo's Day at School
(With apologies to Danny for copying his idea !)
Social Skills
The school bell sounds and the children make their way to their various classrooms, find a seat and drop their bags to the floor, ready with their books and pencil cases to begin work. But where is Theo? Eventually he comes in 10 minutes late because he has been trying to download yesterdays DT assignment onto his laptop from the shared area having forgotten the day before. He is already upset by someone’s comment in the tutor room which he took very literally and personally. This isn’t the first time it’s happened. He is questioned about his lateness: he can't remember the exact reason but doesn’t want to let on that he had forgotten to do something and risk getting into more trouble. His eye contact is poor but not as poor as it used to be as we’ve been working on that at home and yet he stares past the teacher wondering what is for lunch. He is accused of not listening and instructed to go to his seat.
Gross motor skills
While trying to listen intently to the next set of instructions he is distracted by a friend sitting behind him in class who asks him a question. When he turns around to answer him the teacher sees his back and publicly rebukes him in front of the rest of the class for being disruptive and talking. Theo’s 'behaviour' is becoming increasingly concerning for the class teacher. It’s not a good start to the day. Unfortunately it is also PE today. Theo used to enjoy sport in junior school but he hates PE now. He is often made fun of and the teacher has made references to his lack of stamina and lack of co-ordination. He has been accused of being a ‘disgrace’ and an ‘embarrassment’ to both himself and the school . He feels as if he is letting the side down .... again. This particular teacher often makes sarcastic comments to the less athletically able children many of whom have become used to it but Theo is unable to take his ‘humour’ in his stride , seeing it as a personal attack. They are given instructions to divide into groups . When Theo joins a group, his arrival is met with a groan from the more sporting pupils. He feels demoralised and resentful. They are given a series of instructions to make their way to the athletics track , warm up by run 800m anti-clockwise round the track and when completed to gather by the cricket pitch . Theo only hears the last instruction and begins to make his way to the cricket pitch . He is publicly rebuked by the PE teacher , the other pupils laugh at him. He sets off around the track but in the wrong direction bumping into another runner on the track who swears at him. The teacher doesn’t hear this boy swear and so he gets away with it whilst Theo is shouted at again for disrupting the lesson.
800 metres is a tall order for a child who struggles with sport. His asthma takes its toll and by the end of the second lap he is wheezing badly and resentful. The teacher takes this as a sign of weakness and rather than encourage him to complete the lap, accuses him of sitting around at home watching TV all day and playing on his playstation. Theo doesn’t watch a great deal of TV , most of his evening is taken up with trying to catch up on classwork and homework. Theo is doubly resentful now and protests that he isn’t a couch potato and that Nintendo have made a game called Nintendo Wii Fit which helps children to get fit. This is taken as insubordination and he is told by the teacher to run another lap . Theo says he can’t so the teacher tells him he must run another 2 laps whne Theo says he can’t he is sent to the Headmaster’s office. He knows this will mean another letter home. He hates to disappoint his parents. He doesn’t feel as if he can do anything right.
The children are then divided into pairs. It is to be a simple catching game, throwing a cricket ball from one child to another. Theo can't judge the ball's position in space or speed. He stands with an awkward stance and worries anxiously as the ball is thrown to him. The ball arrives and his arms cross somewhere in the region of his chest and he drops the catch. Neither the teacher nor his throwing partner are pleased.
Fine Motor Skills
Theo is pleased to change out of his PE strip. He ties his jumper round his waist rather than try to put it on even though he knows he’s risking another rebuke.
Back in the classroom, it’s time for maths. Theo dreads this subject as it is by far his weakest. He is in the bottom set. He picks up his pencil to continue his unfinished maths from the day before. He always seems to be behind. He thought he knew how to draw a scattergram but can’t remember the instructions from the previous day’s class. He looks up the definition of scattergram and reads ‘a two-dimensional graph in rectangular coordinates consisting of points whose coordinates represent values of two variables under study’. He reads the sentence again slowly but is none the wiser. Fortunately his maths teacher is very patient with him and encourages him to ask questions if he doesn’t understand but he is reluctant to ask again as he has already asked for help once and worries that it will make him look stupid. He has a weekly lesson with a maths teacher at a school on a one to one basis. He seems to be able to understand concepts when she explains them to him but has forgotten by the next lesson.
His hand aches because he grips the pencil so tightly. He prefers to work in pencil as his handwriting using a pen is particularly messy. Fortunately he can get away with this in maths which is a relief as he doesn’t want to stand out from the rest of the class. His work always looks messy with smudge marks and lots of crossing out. Sometimes he gets so angry with his work that he rips it up or scribbles over it before anyone can see it. The lesson is almost half way through and he still hasn’t managed to draw the graph in his book . He can see that others have nearly finished and attempts to get something down on paper. As he is concentrating the teacher reads out the homework for that evening ; section 12 page 11. Theo writes quickly on the back of his hand section 11 page 12. He knows he will get into trouble for writing on his hand but he can’t find his prep book and thinks he may have left it in his last class. The last time he left his prep book in the previous class, he went to retrieve it but in doing so was late for his next class and received a referral and a detention. He worries that the same thing will happen again. He always seems to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He often tells himself that he can’t do anything right.
Thank goodness it is time for lunch. He is supposed to be on an additive free diet which is supposed to help with his concentration in school but he craves all of the foods which he knows aren’t good for him and feels envious watching other children tucking into the sort of snacks which he’s forbidden. He often chooses a baguette for lunch as it’s less of an embarrassment to eat in front of others. His eating skills are poor and he tends to make a mess at the table and knock over his water for which he is frequently criticised. The sandwich option is less troublesome that dealing with a knife and fork but often leaves him feeling hungry. He would like to eat an orange but peeling them is a nightmare for him so he leaves without eating any fruit.

Language skills
Theo's verbal skills are adequate for his age group but he prefers to play the rough and tumble type of games at break-times as he finds it difficult to always find the right word for conversations. He strives to be popular and is - this is very important to him but it comes with a price. In order to attract and keep friends he has found that the best strategy is to be daring and take risks. He knows that there are certain areas of the school grounds where they are discouraged from playing but in order to appear ‘cool’ to his classmates will occasionally risk playing there. He seems to be the one who always gets caught.
He avoids any playground football games rather than risk humiliation in front of his peers. His break-times are extremely important to him as they enable him to mix with his friends whom he doesn’t always see during class times.
He is in the bottom set for most of his lessons except those divided into school house groups, apart from English. He enjoys English enormously and has great respect for his English teacher who has recognised the effort he has made in her lessons despite his spelling and grammar difficulties. Last year she moved him from the third up to the second set and he is keen to show her that he can keep up but he worries that he may be put back down into the third set as he seems unable turn in consistent work and his recent exam result was poor according to his end of term grade card. He dreads the arrival of his grade card at home as it will reflect all of his recent exam results.
Despite the many extra curricular activities on offer during lunch breaks he prefers not to participate as he is particularly pre-occupied at present with appearing ’cool’ to his peers. and he is not an accomplished sportsman. Most of the lunchtime activities for boys involve sport. To join the choir or orchestra would be considered seriously ‘uncool’ and so he prefers to retain their friendship rather than take part although he has recently joined the school orchestra playing the drums - he prefers to keep this a secret. Friendships are both difficult and important for him. He often gets the wrong end of the stick when talking to his friends and interprets their comments very literally taking everything very much to heart and often re-acting excessively to the slightest criticism or sarcasm.

Reasoning Ability/Cognitive Skills
His teachers have , in the past, accused him of not making sufficient effort in class. Theo believes that they think he’s lazy. Anything requiring written work requires an enormous amount of effort and so he tries to get away with doing the absolute bare minimum.
Written work is rarely completed in the allotted time and his concentration span at best is only 5 or 10 minutes and his attention constantly wanders in the classroom. The slightest noise will distract him. Although he gives good verbal responses in class his ability is mostly measured by his responses on paper. He has great difficulty in setting out his work appropriately and will often misinterpret the teacher’s instructions . His writing is quite poor and his pencil grip also which makes his arm ache. After the recent week of exams his fingers were blistered from holding his pen so tightly.
Things have improved since he started using a laptop the previous year but this also brings with it a raft of different difficulties. Classwork and homework assignments tend to be downloaded onto something called the shared area however this is not accessible out of school . If he forgets or runs out of time when copying this information to his laptop during class time he finds himself unable to complete the homework at home. However he has taught himself to be disciplined in ensuring that his laptop is always fully charged at the start of each day. Pupils are also unable to print anything from home as their laptops are not enabled to do so. They have to copy documents onto a memory stick and from there can print via a home computer. He has to remember to either upload these the following day at school or print them off in his tutor room ready to hand in or upload then to a memory stick. However that is a lot of options for him to remember and he often loses his memory stick. He finds it very difficult to keep track of so many assignments for so many different classes that are on different formats ( either in file form on his laptop or printed onto paper as a hard copy).
He can sort this problem by taking his laptop to the IT department so that they can enable home printing but he’s always worried about going there. Last time he went he saw his name written on their notice board and assumed it was because he was in trouble. It had been written there because his mum had phoned the IT department and asked if he could bring in his laptop to have 2 broken keys replaced and they had made a note to expect him. Theo often gets the wrong end of the stick or assumes he must be in trouble.
His biggest challenge is remembering what he has to hand in and when. His homework diary is extremely messy and often incomplete. He will often complete a piece of homework but still receive a referral or detention for not remembering to hand it in.

Behaviour out of School
Theo was always relieved to get home. He travelled by school bus and had been bullied the previous year on the bus for the choice of music he chose to listen to on his ipod. These were banned from school but he risked taking it in for the bus journey as it enabled him to escape into his own world and avoid confrontation with older boys. One particular group of older boys would corner him at school and be verbally abusive to him. It alarmed him that they knew his name. When raised with the school it was explained that Theo probably would become known in school and subjected to taunts as he was ‘that sort of boy that stands out’. He was often terrified of reporting any incidents of bullying for fear of repercussions.
On some days Theo feels completely ‘wiped out’ by the tensions of the day and will come home and lie on his bed incapable of tackling anything. He has recently discovered drumming as an excellent way of releasing these tensions and takes out his frustrations on his drum kit. He doesn’t like to read as he finds it demands too much concentration at the end of an exhausting day.
Every evening is dominated by homework and catching up with work he has been unable to finish in class. He will rarely tell me if he has received a referral or a detention for a missed piece of work , often letting the situation escalate out of hand , rather than tacking it at the outset. Homework is not posted on the school website as the pupils are expected to take responsibility for writing it down themselves.
He often rebukes himself for being ‘useless at everything’ and has recently experimented with self harming. If offered a treat he will often turn it down by saying he doesn’t deserve it.
His room is his haven although is particularly chaotic but we don’t attempt to tidy it apart from ensuring that his school materials are organised enough for him to find. He finds it difficult to get to sleep at night and has to have a very set routine which involves having a fan on and his radio all night as distractions. If something has bothered him at school that day he will lay awake worrying about the next day and whatever it might hold.

Sunday 22 June 2008

Gone Scrapping

I spent the whole day at a scrapbooking event yesterday. Should have know better , there's always a price to pay. He's usually able to button it for at least a week but it took my husband less than 24 hours to come out with ' well you had a whole day off yesterday'. Yes doing something like scrapbooking , which I love and restores my sanity at the end of a long hard week counts as .... wait for it.... a day off. And to think I used to be a grown responsible adult with a life and now I'm reduced to someone else's property accused of taking a day off ... as if I have to be accountable to him.

Sunday 27 April 2008

It's about time I learned how to add a picture underneath a post . So here goes...

That wasn't so difficult was it ? Now how come I haven't worked out how to do that before. Must be the half pint of cider I had after lunch . Must try that again.

Friday 11 April 2008

Time to Myself

In my twenties, a whole weekend to myself with no-one to see and nothing to do would have been nothing short of a miserable disaster. In my thirties the same would have been unthinkable with 2 young nippers and a husband whose sole career aspiration was to take every available job that was a minimum of 200 miles away thereby involving one night , at least , in a hotel.
So here I am in my forties and I've just waved goodbye on the doorstep to my husband and slightly' larger than nipper' sized children with the prospect of 48 hours of uninterrupted solitude. So have a stocked the fridge with Bolly ? Maybe laid aside a couple of bars of Galaxy's Fruit and Nut ? Stocked up on trashy flix and mags ? No , it's off to bed at 9 with a lemsip and the prospect of a lie in tomorrow morning. Phone's off the hook , a 4 pack of croissants awaits by the coffee maker, heaven on earth. I've always loved being by myself. Is that odd ? I crave peace and silence. No need to answer any questions. No-one to answer to . In which case who am I writing this blog for ? Me probably.

Tuesday 25 March 2008

Colour me Happy

Where does that expression come from ? Sounds like an American slogan. Sad that blue is associated with sadness. I've gone right off the colour purple ( sounds like another American slogan ... no a film title) so I'm going to call it feeling purple when I'm down. Hate yellow too. Read somewhere that you can't possible hate a whole colour . Well I can. Apart from Daffodils and the confectionary yolk of a Cadbury's Cream Egg , it hasn't got a lot going for it. And what is it with pink ? I know Barbie must have a lot to with it but why do all pre-menopausal women start reverting to pink when they hit a certain age ? I suppose it's less embarrassing to embrace a colour than it is to be seen parading around in hot pants and crop tops. I've been through the Farrow and Ball taupe stage and I dallied with lime reen and I tried very hard to like aubergine but now I've given in and gone with pink . You can't resist a tidal wave like that. I also put it down to a little protest in a houseful of boys most of whom where black, navy and brown.

Monday 17 March 2008

Soundtrack to my life

Sang every song from South Pacific and Caousel when I was a toddler. Particular favourite 'I'm gonna wash that man right outa my hair'
First single purchased 'Yeah Yeah' by Georgie Fame and the Blue Flames
Remember singing Schubert's The Trout at Guildford Civic Hall whilst in the school choir.
Played every size of recorder.
Tried to play the guitar but didn't realise until too late that I was holding it the wrong way round. Wonder whether I was really left handed.
Played Beatles songs on the piano to accompany Primary School Nativity Play
David Cassidy fan at around 10/11 years old.
Graduated to Gilbert O'Sullivan when he released 'Claire'
Discovered Olivia Newton John
Loved the American sound epitomised by Eagles and America
Punk came along
...and went
Was more Rolling Stones than Beatles
Teenage soundtracks... Al Stewart Year of the Cat, Colin Blunstone, Todd Rundgren, Free
Dabbled with Cream, Jethro Tull, King Crimson
Peter Gabriel at University
Pink Floyd Devotee
Never went for Motown apart from Stevie Wonder
Discovered Van Morrison, John Martyn
It al goes a bit blank then , can't think why
Veered more towards classical
Always had a slightly eclectic mix of likes
Now in the era of itunes discovering artists I never knew existed
Wonder what stage comes next
Please someone shoot me if I start buying Lloyd Webber show tunes compilations

So much for lists

I went and bought another box of 24 Galaxy Fruit and Nut Choc bars
See below

Thursday 28 February 2008

The Do's and Don'ts of my life

In a perfect world this list would run to several hundered items but in real life and time permitting I'll limit myself to Seven - it's a good number.

1.Do remember the good times not the bad times
2.Do try and stay patient when helping the kids with their homework
3.Do try and eat sensibly
4.Do call your friends as often as you can
5.Do remember to pay your credit card off every month
6.Do as much as you can to help others in need
7.Do try and write it all down

Not doing too bad on No.s 1 & 6 , failing badly on No.s 2 & 3 , hopeless at 5 and getting better at 7.

On the other side of the coin here's my Don't list.

1. Don't ever ever buy a box of 24 chocolate bars from the wholesalers again
2. Don't dwell on the 'might have beens'
3. Don't get so easily discouraged
4. Don't bang on about how relentless staying at home is
5. Don't forget to be kind to yourself now and again
6. Don't sweat the small stuff
7. Don't write so many lists

I'll let you guess what I score out of seven on the Don't list .

Sunday 3 February 2008

The Power of Prayer

The Lord's Prayer is a still a bit of a mystery to me and clearly to my 8 year old also. Homework on Friday was a translation of what it meant , line by line. It was all going swimmingly until we got to the 'Hallowed be thy name ' line. When quizzed as to what hallowed might be he confidently assured me that he knew the answer to this one and studiously scribbled on his worksheet ' Like an egg' . I had one of those one warm fuzzy moments when you wonder at your child's brilliance and expected an explanation that linked his egg analogy to something to do with new life or the Resurrection or something equally profound. Actually it was along the lines of an Easter theme but nothing to do with the holy Resurrection ... more to do with the chocolatey variety as in Hollowed chocolate Easter Egg. Bless.

Thursday 24 January 2008

I have a new set of pencils. Each one is lovingly inscribed with uplifting words. They probably came from a shop called 'Impossibly Cute Things That You Feel You NEED But Don't Really But What the Hell I'm Going to Buy It Anyway'. I think it's next to that other famous shop called 'You Can Never Have Enough Stationery' .
The words they've used are enough to send you off to a slumbery kind of fluffy world lined with soft cushions. They read ... Relax, Sleep, Dream, Create, Chill, Unwind.
They are clearly not my pencils. Mine would read ...Nag, Moan, Whinge, Comfort Eat, Put Another Wash On.
What would yours read ?

Sunday 20 January 2008

49 and counting

On the assumption that if I mention it often enough , it will come as no shock when it happens, I need to start writing about reaching 50 - there see - sounds like I have already . That wasn't too painful.

I've got 24 years of catching up to do as I'm still 26 in my head. The only difference is , when i get up from a chair now , it takes a few seconds of leaning to get the body tilting forward sufficiently to make a smooth getaway without looking like an arthritic old hag. I also know who Nobby Stiles is or was. But there have to be more advantages that that ?

Wisdom comes high on the list as does the ability to say no without having to make excuses. If I live to 80 then that gives me about 1500 weeks to go and as life's too short to accept invitations you don't want. A friend of mine has been life coaching on the etiquette of polite but firm refusals. The mantra you have to repeat , so that it trips off the tongue with ease , when asked to chair the PTA/run a committee/volunteer to clear up after a school event is ... 'I'm so sorry , I can't help you with that right now'.

Brief, polite, firm. What more could you want ? Don't fall into the trap of elaborating . Short , sweet and to the point . Keep it simple.

Which brings me nicely onto my next piece of wise advice. Devise a word to see you through the year . Mine is SIMPLIFY. So far so good. I'm so fed up with choice or rather too much of it. When I go to buy bread I want the choice to be brown or white or maybe sliced or unsliced. It doesn't need to include every form of international cuisine, shape, colour, size and flavouring . Today I saw a loaf described as slow baked. I really don't care how long it took them to bake it. I just want to get it home and eat it . How long they left it in the oven for is their problem.

Thursday 10 January 2008

Winter Blues

I've always thought March was the worst month of the year. It's still Winter and it's when we're most likely to get snow and everything still looks grey. This year I reckon January is the pits. Shops full of crap, house is a mess, although the children have gone back to school , which is at least one blessing, every task seems to take twice as long. You go out wearing jumpers and you sweat like crazy because everywhere's too hot which throws you . You daren't buy anything because the house is already full of too much stuff and anyway there's nothing decent in the shops to buy apart from stock they can't shift and the tail end detritus from the sales.And just when you get excited when you see a sign that says 50% off something you've been coveting you spot the small print which says up to 50% off and you realise that the thing you want is only 10% off. And you don't even need it. February is marginally worse what with all the Valentine's nonsense although thankfully only 28 or 29 days long. Then along comes March all full of the false promise of Spring and it snows. Or worse , it sort of snows but then disappears by the time the children get home from school. Give me September any day. Warm days, cool evenings, the promise of a snug winter , the children back to school at last ... oh ... and my birthday. Not looking forward to this year's though ... the big Five Oh. More of that later in the year no doubt.

Monday 7 January 2008

Growing Up

I remember vividly , as if only yesterday, lying on my bed as an 8 year old and wailing that I didn't ever want to grow up . Now history is repeating itself as I've just spent a tricky half hour re-assuring my own 8 year old that I understand how he feels and that growing up can be fun as well as sad. His little tear stained face made me want to weep. Red eyed and sobbing he trudged off back to bed clutching an eclectic selection of toys plucked from a basket that was destined for the charity shop... a small stuffed rabbit , a robot pencil sharpener and a set of alphabet stamps. Re-assurance that all of his old toys that we had passed on to younger children when he'd outgrown them , fell on deaf ears. The Leap Frog electronic reading tablet that went at the last car boot sale was lost forever and with it , he felt , a part of his childhood. Inconsolable . Now I realise why the ritual of sorting toys to pass on to charity or friends' children makes me SO anxious. I must attribute them with a little piece of my children's childhood soul which will now become lost forever. I've never been very good about dealing with change and growing up is the saddest kind of change. I never buy into the myth that growing up is all part of 'life's rich tapestry'. Who coined that ghastly phrase ? The minute I hear it I know I'm being persuaded to swallow some old guff. Fobbed off with a cliche because there's no decent alternative explanation. ... a bit like any sentence that begins with '... with all due respect' when you know damn well that no respect is involved whatsoever.

Anyway, he's finally settled, off to the land of nod clutching his little rabbit. Tomorrow it will all be forgotten, or will it ? Will he, in 40 years time, be writing some cyberblog or whatever equivalent has been invented by then, about the perils of growing up ? I hope I'm still alive to read it.

Sunday 6 January 2008

Identity Crisis

Had trouble signing in today > may have more to do with my age-related failing memory than anything personal , but my blog wouldn't recognise me. As if re-typing exactly the same information would change anything. I felt very indignant being told that I didn't exist. Finally twigged what my password was. May be because I've been a naughty blogger and haven't posted since before Christmas. This is their way of punishing me. i think the school exam boards are going to have to introduce a new GCSE - Password Remembering. I must have at least 20 now and each one is slightly different. Far from making life easy , it just means it takes a good 10 minutes to get to the point of recognition let alone undertake any transaction. Why not use the same one every time / Well I'm still paranoid that if someone discovers what my Golden Password is they'll be able to blog in my name, extract funds from my account ( or rather increase my overdrafts) order flowers and download tunes. What's a shedload of time wasting inconvenience compared to potential financial ruin ?
I returned from Christmas away to find two messages on my answering machine telling me that something little oik had tried to use my credit card over the festive period. Apparently they'd made 3 attempts to extract funds to bet online. The nice clever credit card people had decided that this apparently didn't fit my profile so they'd declined the transaction. How sweet . On paper , at least, I must not fit the betting personality profile. I wonder what they have me down as ? Probably a book buying, middle of the road music listening toy purchaser with an addiction for scrapbooking. The devil in me wants to go on a bender one day and spend spend spend at the races, a casino, maybe visit a Ladbokes or two then order a few hundred cases of Champagne and order some cigars from Cuba. Wonder what would happen and when I'd get the phonecall.