Bunny is a great word isn't it ? If I looked at a rabbit now , for the very first time and didn't know what it was called , I think I'd still come up with the word ' bunny ' . No co-incidence that it rhymes with funny and honey , two more great words .
I've made some Easter carrots for my pupils - filled with Cadbury's mini eggs. Easy peasy to make - just cut up orange card-stock or paper into 4" x 6" rectangles - you can get 6 from a 12" x 12" sheet of card-stock. Using double sided tape , seal up the base and the top at right angles to each other ( think tetra pack construction ) then add some green card-stock , cut into leaf-like greenery ( I used my Cameo but you can do this free-style) to the top to make the carrot tops. Fill with mini eggs before you seal up the top. My only problem now is making sure I don't eat them all before I give them away. I made 6 as a trial run , so I'll need to make another dozen - guess what I'll be doing tonight ?
Happy Easter.
Sunday, 24 March 2013
Saturday, 23 March 2013
Loving Sequins at the moment
At the risk of sounding like a closet ballroom dancer , I've fallen in love with these delightful little circles of loveliness. I've always had a fascination for them but never really used them on my layouts ... until now. I still don't like the holographic or iridescent ones but they now make them in a luscious satin finish which makes them look so much classier. So here are a couple of layouts that I made last weekend using satin gold and silver sequins.
Apologies for the rubbish photos but I've just photographed them in the gloom of a dreary early evening ... should have waited until daylight , not that it would have made much difference at the moment - it is so dull and grey and cold out there .
How cute is kitten Jack in this photo ?
I used a Studio Calico mask that I'd ordered with my last kit and hadn't realised , until I opened the packaging , that you could move the designs from within the pebble shapes around - how clever is that ? AS they didn't stand out that well as I'd used a plae grey mist , I outlined them with a very fine black pen to give them a little more definition. It's not that clear from the photo but the shapes underneath the photo were cut into pebble shapes from white cardstock painted with some of the new Distress Paint Dabbers - loving the washed out shades ( even if I did manage to spill half a bottle on my trousers in the process ) .
For those of you now suffering from sequin envy , you can spend a happy half hour on a site called www.sequinworld.co.uk choosing sequins to your hearts content . They have every conceivable shape , size and finish. I've just bought some more matte ones which I prefer to the rather garish holographic ones ... oh and there's no postage .
Tuesday, 5 March 2013
Badgemania
That's 'badge' not 'badger' which is what it looked like after I'd typed it , although I do have a thing for badgers too come to think of it .
What is it about these round shiny little things that's so appealing ? I managed a sharp intake of breath in Paperchase today when I saw this....
So, for the same price as a couple of coffees , I came skipping out of the shop with my package of loveliness . There are 2 of each letter , so 52 in total which makes them about 12p each. Now if Paperchase can offer them at that price , why are those packets of 6 you see on scarp booking sites so ridiculously expensive - around $4-5 ?
I'll be using mine as a teaching resource and one or two may well make it onto my scrapbook pages.
What is it about these round shiny little things that's so appealing ? I managed a sharp intake of breath in Paperchase today when I saw this....
And even better ... it's full of these .....
So, for the same price as a couple of coffees , I came skipping out of the shop with my package of loveliness . There are 2 of each letter , so 52 in total which makes them about 12p each. Now if Paperchase can offer them at that price , why are those packets of 6 you see on scarp booking sites so ridiculously expensive - around $4-5 ?
I'll be using mine as a teaching resource and one or two may well make it onto my scrapbook pages.
Tuesday, 26 February 2013
Who is this Mr Huey ?
I've never met him but I'm well acquainted with his fabulous palette of sprayable mists.
I have a few ... well quite a few actually but you can never have enough I say . The trouble is , I can never remember which ones I have when I'm out and about and sometimes end up buying a duplicate, then kicking myself when I get home.
Problem solved. I've devised a colour chart which I've printed onto white card, trimmed and added sample squirts , through a rectangular mask, of the ones I already own. I think it's the full list unless they've brought out some more in the last 5 minutes ... you never know , so just in case , I've added a few rows at the end for new additions. If any of you eagle-eyed archivists spot any errors or omissions , please let me know. I've counted 68 in total but I think I may have duplicated on the whites - they all seemed to be called something different depending on what site your looking on.
It's in alphabetical order which works best for me , although you can always re-arrange it into colour families. Frustratingly , I think a few are now discontinued , I'd have been intrigued to have seem what 'Lunch tray' looked like .
If you had the chance to name a brand new Mr Huey - what would you call it ? Suggestions please ... I'll send a prize to the best answer. If you'd like a PDF of the chart , just leave your details below and I'll forward. I can't believe I've only got 2 of the colours on the first page ... and excuse to buy more perhaps ? Happy shopping ( or as Jackie would say ... enabling ! )
Yes , I know , I should get out more but I'm procrastinating about having to go upstairs
and do the teenagers' bedrooms deep-clean which I've been putting off for days... so now you understand .
I have a few ... well quite a few actually but you can never have enough I say . The trouble is , I can never remember which ones I have when I'm out and about and sometimes end up buying a duplicate, then kicking myself when I get home.
Problem solved. I've devised a colour chart which I've printed onto white card, trimmed and added sample squirts , through a rectangular mask, of the ones I already own. I think it's the full list unless they've brought out some more in the last 5 minutes ... you never know , so just in case , I've added a few rows at the end for new additions. If any of you eagle-eyed archivists spot any errors or omissions , please let me know. I've counted 68 in total but I think I may have duplicated on the whites - they all seemed to be called something different depending on what site your looking on.
It's in alphabetical order which works best for me , although you can always re-arrange it into colour families. Frustratingly , I think a few are now discontinued , I'd have been intrigued to have seem what 'Lunch tray' looked like .
If you had the chance to name a brand new Mr Huey - what would you call it ? Suggestions please ... I'll send a prize to the best answer. If you'd like a PDF of the chart , just leave your details below and I'll forward. I can't believe I've only got 2 of the colours on the first page ... and excuse to buy more perhaps ? Happy shopping ( or as Jackie would say ... enabling ! )
Yes , I know , I should get out more but I'm procrastinating about having to go upstairs
and do the teenagers' bedrooms deep-clean which I've been putting off for days... so now you understand .
Wednesday, 20 February 2013
Wood Veneers
I’m not sure I’ve ever actually used one of those wood veneer shapes on a scrapbook layout but it hasn’t stopped me acquiring a few packs because they are just so collectable. One day I will find the perfect use for them but until then I’ve been having fun wondering how to store them. Prompted by a thread over on Studio Calico, I started to browse the web for vintage fishing tackle boxes, then hit upon the idea of using an artist’s wooden box intended for paints and brushes and found this on ebay for £6.99. It measures about 8" x 14" and has a lovely sliding lid and 5 subdivided interior compartments. I think the wood is birch and it even has beautiful dovetail joints in the corners. Altogether a lovely little item.
It came lined with nasty yellowing foam sheets which were easy to remove. After a quick rub down with some sand-paper and the addition of a few remnants of patterned paper , I had managed to turn it into the perfect storage box.
Very pleased with the end result especially as it’s made from wood and so it seemed rather apt. It also reminds me of an old pencil box I used to have as a child that held Reeves pastels, so a bit of nostalgia thrown in for good measure. I now have the perfect excuse to buy a few more packs as it’s looking a little empty !
Oh and just for a bit of maverick, I couldn't resist putting the cats in with the birdies !
Friday, 15 February 2013
GCSE English
I'm sitting an English GCSE , not because I need to but because I wanted to immerse myself in the experience. I needed to understand what students go through from start to finish when they embark upon this exam ; How they learn, or sometimes don't learn, what they understand about the process , how they approach each task, what they get from it, or don't and whether it enriches their understanding of the English language.
My youngest son will be sitting this exam in just over 2 years time. He is dyspraxic and dyslexic and struggles with exams in general. I wanted to understand the labyrinthine workings of the exam system and the hurdles he'd have to encounter and how these would affect his chances of getting a good grade.
I feel like an undercover spy but the government now offer free GCSE courses in English and Maths to adult learners , so it was too good a gift horse to ignore and it's all in the interests of the learning process.
Good grief has it been an eye opener ! As a parent , If your child has no learning difficulty , you may never need to know any of this aside from the odd bit of nagging around exam time and a couple of parents' evenings at school where they'll tell you their predicted grade. Lucky you. If your child is at a good school you can leave it all to them. If neither of these apply then you're in the lap of the gods.
I'm not sure where to start . Deep breath I guess.
Firstly , if you know which exam board will be setting your exam and the correct syllabus code, you can go online and check out the specification. If you have several hours to spare , you'll be guided through a 40 page booklet ( at which point does a booklet become a book I wonder ? ) of edu-speak with a vocabulary all of its own - you'll encounter words and phrases like ... moderation procedure, consortium arrangements, internal standardisation, terminal rule, multi modal submission, Electronic Data Interchange ... I could go on.
If this isn't enough to confuse you then wait until you get to the AOs ( Assessment Objectives). They range from AO1 ( sophisticated / Impressive) - AO4 ( Limited - as will there success outcome in life be ) . Life is cruel, exams are crueler.
There's a nifty decision tree to navigate , varying permutations of units, then there's a plethora of Controlled Assessments to get your head round, a variety of texts to read , skills to master and make sure you sharpen up your memory skills .You'll know essay titles in advance which means you'll have written a draft before you sit the Controlled exam so if you can memorise what you've written before you'll get the same grade as you achieved for your draft. What's the point ? Isn't this supposed to be an English exam not a memory test ?
... and where is all the literature buried in all of this ? If you can't spell, struggle with reading , have weak processing speed and a compromised memory , the whole process must be a nightmare and you don't even get to enjoy the book !
If I were Michael Gove, this is what I'd recommend :
Shakespeare - complimentary access to stage productions of the chosen text. Role playing ( in full costume and make-up) for a couple of chosen scenes, a trip to Stratford.
Poetry - every student gets to choose their own poems - they're all free online. If your child has a semantic pragmatic disorder , poetry may well be a closed book. Find some accessible contemporary poets, Carol Ann Duffy, Roger McGough , Adrian Mitchell , arrange a visit from a local poet - they'd be only too pleased to come in and talk to the students about their writing process and thoughts - pay them of course.
Literary texts - same old , same old. I'm not saying Of Mice and Men and To Kill a Mockingbird aren't exemplary must-reads but maybe when they're good and ready. There's a wealth of hidden contemporary gems out there ready to be discovered and the children will have a far greater connection with them than something that happened in another continent in another lifetime. You never know they might even enjoy reading them. What a bonus. Cover the literary greats but let them watch the film adaptations as well .
Creative Writing - it should be just that. Let them find their 'voice' . Blogging should be made compulsory.
Spelling - This is the 21st century . We are not living in the time of pointy dunce's hats and standing on stools in the corner of the classroom. Spelling is NOT an indication of intelligence. Some of the brightest minds can't spell for toffeee ( that's a joke) . Their minds are much better employed creating new ideas and exploring the universe. For goodness sake, let children who struggle to spell use spell check . It's a bit like inventing the wheel and then saying that bicycles must operate without them. Yes I know it would be great if they could learn how to spell everything correctly but why punish them if they can't remember all of the ridiculous spelling rules in the English language - and anyway there are more exceptions to the rule than rules themselves so could we concentrate on the content instead please ? In 50 years time , we will look back on our current system and think - weren't we cruel to punish for such a ridiculous thing.
Exams - banned . Their teachers will know whether they've reached the 'required' standard. Rather than battle through the administrative nightmare of controlled assessments, assessment objectives , grade boundaries and the like, let each teacher write an individual report on each student based on practical observation and discussion. Youngsters will have a lot more respect for education and literature and the exam inspectors would be mightily impressed with their opinions and how much better they're able to express them when they're not under the cosh.
My youngest son will be sitting this exam in just over 2 years time. He is dyspraxic and dyslexic and struggles with exams in general. I wanted to understand the labyrinthine workings of the exam system and the hurdles he'd have to encounter and how these would affect his chances of getting a good grade.
I feel like an undercover spy but the government now offer free GCSE courses in English and Maths to adult learners , so it was too good a gift horse to ignore and it's all in the interests of the learning process.
Good grief has it been an eye opener ! As a parent , If your child has no learning difficulty , you may never need to know any of this aside from the odd bit of nagging around exam time and a couple of parents' evenings at school where they'll tell you their predicted grade. Lucky you. If your child is at a good school you can leave it all to them. If neither of these apply then you're in the lap of the gods.
I'm not sure where to start . Deep breath I guess.
Firstly , if you know which exam board will be setting your exam and the correct syllabus code, you can go online and check out the specification. If you have several hours to spare , you'll be guided through a 40 page booklet ( at which point does a booklet become a book I wonder ? ) of edu-speak with a vocabulary all of its own - you'll encounter words and phrases like ... moderation procedure, consortium arrangements, internal standardisation, terminal rule, multi modal submission, Electronic Data Interchange ... I could go on.
If this isn't enough to confuse you then wait until you get to the AOs ( Assessment Objectives). They range from AO1 ( sophisticated / Impressive) - AO4 ( Limited - as will there success outcome in life be ) . Life is cruel, exams are crueler.
There's a nifty decision tree to navigate , varying permutations of units, then there's a plethora of Controlled Assessments to get your head round, a variety of texts to read , skills to master and make sure you sharpen up your memory skills .You'll know essay titles in advance which means you'll have written a draft before you sit the Controlled exam so if you can memorise what you've written before you'll get the same grade as you achieved for your draft. What's the point ? Isn't this supposed to be an English exam not a memory test ?
... and where is all the literature buried in all of this ? If you can't spell, struggle with reading , have weak processing speed and a compromised memory , the whole process must be a nightmare and you don't even get to enjoy the book !
If I were Michael Gove, this is what I'd recommend :
Shakespeare - complimentary access to stage productions of the chosen text. Role playing ( in full costume and make-up) for a couple of chosen scenes, a trip to Stratford.
Poetry - every student gets to choose their own poems - they're all free online. If your child has a semantic pragmatic disorder , poetry may well be a closed book. Find some accessible contemporary poets, Carol Ann Duffy, Roger McGough , Adrian Mitchell , arrange a visit from a local poet - they'd be only too pleased to come in and talk to the students about their writing process and thoughts - pay them of course.
Literary texts - same old , same old. I'm not saying Of Mice and Men and To Kill a Mockingbird aren't exemplary must-reads but maybe when they're good and ready. There's a wealth of hidden contemporary gems out there ready to be discovered and the children will have a far greater connection with them than something that happened in another continent in another lifetime. You never know they might even enjoy reading them. What a bonus. Cover the literary greats but let them watch the film adaptations as well .
Creative Writing - it should be just that. Let them find their 'voice' . Blogging should be made compulsory.
Spelling - This is the 21st century . We are not living in the time of pointy dunce's hats and standing on stools in the corner of the classroom. Spelling is NOT an indication of intelligence. Some of the brightest minds can't spell for toffeee ( that's a joke) . Their minds are much better employed creating new ideas and exploring the universe. For goodness sake, let children who struggle to spell use spell check . It's a bit like inventing the wheel and then saying that bicycles must operate without them. Yes I know it would be great if they could learn how to spell everything correctly but why punish them if they can't remember all of the ridiculous spelling rules in the English language - and anyway there are more exceptions to the rule than rules themselves so could we concentrate on the content instead please ? In 50 years time , we will look back on our current system and think - weren't we cruel to punish for such a ridiculous thing.
Exams - banned . Their teachers will know whether they've reached the 'required' standard. Rather than battle through the administrative nightmare of controlled assessments, assessment objectives , grade boundaries and the like, let each teacher write an individual report on each student based on practical observation and discussion. Youngsters will have a lot more respect for education and literature and the exam inspectors would be mightily impressed with their opinions and how much better they're able to express them when they're not under the cosh.
There endeth my rant, for now.
Tuesday, 12 February 2013
Been busy ...
... making Valentine's Day cards . Yes I know it's a all a load of commercial nonsense to get us to spend money in the depths of the bleakest month of the year ... but not if you make your own. Any excuse for a celebration I say and the boys don't seem to mind being bombarded with chocolate hearts and truffles.
The Silhouette Cameo was made for celebrations and it was a snip to make these - having said that I'm only just clearing my desk after a frenetic cutting session that's made my carpet look as if there's been a wedding's worth of confetti thrown about the place. Hey ho , what price love and all that.
Now I don't usually do 'cute' but there's 'cute' and there's cute and this ted bears a striking resemblance to my youngest's teddy so I couldn't resist.
This is what the insides look like
and these are some boxes I cut and filled with the boys' favourite bubble gum . They'll go in their Valentine's goody bags which are still a work in progress .
Better go get the hoover.
Thursday, 7 February 2013
owt for nowt
I've gone all Yorkshire in celebration of their local dialect . There a teacher somewhere oop North that thinks that children should leave their local dialect out of their written exam papers, fearing that they'll be marked down and fail. I have some sympathy with her anxiety in this educationally competitive world . Who wouldn't want their students to get the best marks possible in order to maximise their employment chances ? But it's sad that regional differences should make the potential difference between a pass and a fail.
I'm wondering what the hell any examiner would have made of my essays back in the sixties when I was living in Scotland and sounding like a guttural Glaswegian ? Would "I didney ken yah wee hen" * have cut the mustard with Miss Jean Brodie ? I think not. And I can't imagine Rabby Burns being asked to re-word his "sleekit, cowrin, tim'rous beatie" so that the Southern softies could understand it.
Sadly my mother sent me off to elocution lessons when we moved to England to knock the Scottish out of me. I don't blame her. It was an act of kindness as I spent the first few weeks at my new school sobbing in the corner of the playground as the other kids said they couldn't understand a word I was saying.
It reminded me of the hilarious Stanley Baxter sketches "Parliamo Glasgow" - all the funnier because my parents had bought the original vinyl LPs " Parliamo Italiano" in their quest to master a foreign language at a time when Freddie Laker and Clarksons were taking to the air with the first wave of package holidays to sunny European destinations. He really was a comedy genius and way ahead of his time. Thanks to You Tube , I have just laughed my wee socks off at one of the original sketches.
As I'd once have said "ye cannae whack'em "
* Translation - " I don't know my dear "
I'm wondering what the hell any examiner would have made of my essays back in the sixties when I was living in Scotland and sounding like a guttural Glaswegian ? Would "I didney ken yah wee hen" * have cut the mustard with Miss Jean Brodie ? I think not. And I can't imagine Rabby Burns being asked to re-word his "sleekit, cowrin, tim'rous beatie" so that the Southern softies could understand it.
Sadly my mother sent me off to elocution lessons when we moved to England to knock the Scottish out of me. I don't blame her. It was an act of kindness as I spent the first few weeks at my new school sobbing in the corner of the playground as the other kids said they couldn't understand a word I was saying.
It reminded me of the hilarious Stanley Baxter sketches "Parliamo Glasgow" - all the funnier because my parents had bought the original vinyl LPs " Parliamo Italiano" in their quest to master a foreign language at a time when Freddie Laker and Clarksons were taking to the air with the first wave of package holidays to sunny European destinations. He really was a comedy genius and way ahead of his time. Thanks to You Tube , I have just laughed my wee socks off at one of the original sketches.
As I'd once have said "ye cannae whack'em "
The gremlins won't let me upload the You Tube video but if you got a few minutes to spare and fancy a laugh , just google Parliamo Glasgow. Time well spent
* Translation - " I don't know my dear "
Friday, 1 February 2013
Notebook Nirvana
What makes your heart leap when you're out and about shopping - not the supermarket kind but the heavenly sort , in pursuit of a thing of beauty ? For some it's handbags, maybe shoes but the world is awash with a plethora of strappy, little, leather numbers . Who could possible need more ?
But stationery ... well that's another matter. That's the stuff of heaven. You can never have enough notebooks ready and waiting to be filled with earnest notes and jottings, heartfelt sentiments , the odd quote here or a calculation there. The permutations of cover and contents are infinite, combining to provide a tactile object of desire.
Every now and then I come across a shop that makes my heart skip a beat. Whilst browsing online I stumbled upon just such a place called Present and Correct. Page after page of loveliness and not just notebooks - every item that your desk or workspace could possibly ever covet . As pictures paint a thousand words , less verbal from me ... just feast your eyes on this tiny selection of what they have to offer ... in fact I hardly know where to start . These people have clearly scoured the earth for an eclectic selection of well-made, functional, simple and yet beautiful products and I have to compliment them on the photographs - every one a gallery still life. When you've finished lusting after the eye candy go check out the shop here and feast your eyes on what else they have to offer. You won't be disappointed.
But stationery ... well that's another matter. That's the stuff of heaven. You can never have enough notebooks ready and waiting to be filled with earnest notes and jottings, heartfelt sentiments , the odd quote here or a calculation there. The permutations of cover and contents are infinite, combining to provide a tactile object of desire.
Every now and then I come across a shop that makes my heart skip a beat. Whilst browsing online I stumbled upon just such a place called Present and Correct. Page after page of loveliness and not just notebooks - every item that your desk or workspace could possibly ever covet . As pictures paint a thousand words , less verbal from me ... just feast your eyes on this tiny selection of what they have to offer ... in fact I hardly know where to start . These people have clearly scoured the earth for an eclectic selection of well-made, functional, simple and yet beautiful products and I have to compliment them on the photographs - every one a gallery still life. When you've finished lusting after the eye candy go check out the shop here and feast your eyes on what else they have to offer. You won't be disappointed.
Who wouldn't want to make pie charts with this lot ?
Ingenious. I'll be writing all my titles from now on in a circle and underlining them with this.
And I leave you this duo of shop bags "Guten Einkauf " or " Good Buy "
Tuesday, 29 January 2013
Pins and Needles
What on earth is it about haberdashery ( and stationery for that matter ) that is just so ridiculously appealing ? I can't be the only one to drool over little packets of beautifully wrapped sewing items, can I ? Please say I'm not .
Even the word is beautiful - haberdashery .
John Lewis have just brought out a special range of delectable sewing notions ( see there's another beautiful word ) to celebrate 150 year in the business. And here are some of the little beauties. I would also have snapped up the traditional tape measure were it not for the fact that , post Christmas cracker, I am now awash with them and nail clippers , spectacle repair kits and shoe horns come to that .
When I die , the house clearance people are going to assume that they're in the house of a deceased seamstress or maybe the fact that every packet will be pristine and unopened might give me away as a fraud.
Even the word is beautiful - haberdashery .
John Lewis have just brought out a special range of delectable sewing notions ( see there's another beautiful word ) to celebrate 150 year in the business. And here are some of the little beauties. I would also have snapped up the traditional tape measure were it not for the fact that , post Christmas cracker, I am now awash with them and nail clippers , spectacle repair kits and shoe horns come to that .
When I die , the house clearance people are going to assume that they're in the house of a deceased seamstress or maybe the fact that every packet will be pristine and unopened might give me away as a fraud.
Friday, 18 January 2013
A little Anecdote from my past ...
Another interminable conference , prefaced by a tedious drinks party . Whilst the invitations to these events suggested voluntary attendance, you were nonetheless ticked off an imaginary register of corporate fidelity. Dull suits , shabby shirts, loud ties and very occasionally a smattering of women in the suit equivalent of a smartly tailored black dress.
“So, what do you do ? “ asked a grey-suited delegate, attempting the kind of small talk required at such a gathering. Was he genuinely keen to know or was this just a blatant attempt to gauge my status within the ranks ? It was a thinly disguised interrogation to establish my seniority and salary potential. He was relatively junior , judging by his age but clearly ambitious and would undoubtedly have ‘worked’ the room , eager to establish useful connections that might nudge him up the promotion ladder.
I told him nonchalantly that I worked for the Chief Executive of the company hosting the event. I could see this information being logged in a part of his brain that would tell him whether further conversation would be useful or not . “So you must get to type a lot of very interesting letters ? “ he laughed scornfully as if I were party to the kind of correspondence that might, intellectually, go over the top of my head. I was , after all, a woman , I worked for a senior figure in the company, QED I must be a secretary . These were his assumptions based on the limited facts he had at his disposal.
When I told him that I didn’t type he was clearly puzzled but at that moment he spotted an eminently more important guest , over my shoulder and he was off without so much as a backward glance. I could hear his voice booming at his new, unfortunate victim “ So , what do you do ? “ Clearly an unimaginative conversationalist.
The evening wore on in much the same vein of stilted snippets of office talk and polite enquiries. Sly glances at watches were made by the impatient , attempting to calculate an acceptable time of departure . Bores were quickly passed over by the more discerning guests and those with an appetite for alcohol were just beginning to loosen up and make fools of themselves. I could hear my earlier garrulous inquisitor move around the room, making his presence felt with indiscriminate laughter at his own jokes.
Finally, the chinking of a glass with a sharp object as the universal code for ‘silence please’ heralded an announcement from our Chief Executive . “ Ladies and Gentlemen , may I have your attention please. I would like to introduce our esteemed guest speaker for the evening ... “ and as the polite applause gently subsided following his introduction, I stepped onto the podium to deliver my keynote speech. I noted , with sheer joy, the look of disbelief on the face of my , now silent and no longer laughing , grey suited bore . It felt exhilarating to have the very last laugh.
Tuesday, 15 January 2013
God Bless the patron saint of organisation ...
... Martha Stewart that is. I hope I'm looking that good when I'm in my seventies and that rich. I've been helping to line her pockets by buying some of her organisation items from Staples . They're a lovely turquoise colour and covered in a material fabulously called Shagreen . You couldn't make that up could you ?
I fear I may never emulate her giddy heights of uber organisation though, as life is too short to have a wall planner that includes entries such as ' clean hyacinth vases ' and ' pick sloes to make sloe gin ' although I came perilously close to that last one when visiting Emma and Kate before Christmas. Trouble was we were too hung over on the Sunday morning to attempt a hedgerow raid so I had to buy the shop bought variety instead .... shhh ... don't tell Martha. Still the path to good intentions is lined with something or other.
So , here we are - photos of my lovely Project Life corner all set and ready to go on my desk with everything in its place and a place for everything. Just looking at it makes me feel tired at the thought of filling in 52 double layouts on a weekly basis. I wonder if Project Lie-in would ever catch on ?
I fear I may never emulate her giddy heights of uber organisation though, as life is too short to have a wall planner that includes entries such as ' clean hyacinth vases ' and ' pick sloes to make sloe gin ' although I came perilously close to that last one when visiting Emma and Kate before Christmas. Trouble was we were too hung over on the Sunday morning to attempt a hedgerow raid so I had to buy the shop bought variety instead .... shhh ... don't tell Martha. Still the path to good intentions is lined with something or other.
So , here we are - photos of my lovely Project Life corner all set and ready to go on my desk with everything in its place and a place for everything. Just looking at it makes me feel tired at the thought of filling in 52 double layouts on a weekly basis. I wonder if Project Lie-in would ever catch on ?
Friday, 11 January 2013
Up and Running
... well my Project Life album is ... not me personally . I'm still wheezing and sleeping a lot and I never want to see another Lemsip.
My Becky Higgins page protectors arrived today so I now have no excuse to get started. I have finally succumbed to the pressure and decided to have a go at Project Life. It strikes me that the hype and hysteria that seems to surround this new way of scrap-booking, is just a canny ploy by manufacturers to drum up some new business and get us spending on a slightly different size of stash . But I'm a sucker for new gimmicks , so what the hell.
I've also been trying to find ways of acquiring Project Life stash on a shoestring . There's a wealth of free downloads available online from some very talented designers. I'm always overwhelmed at their generosity in sharing with the crafting world - so thank you girls .
And just to satisfy my shopping addiction, I did actually purchase a few bits and pieces to get the ball rolling - not actual papers or cards but digital downloads. Wow - what a great way to scrap. I decided on the Seafoam kit and downloaded a set of journalling cards for $3.99 ( about £2.50) . No postage , no waiting for postie - I had them printed, curt and corner rounded in less than half an hour and the quality is fabulous. I printed them in PSE using some smooth, white, premium cardstock which I already had . The real bonus is having the ability to print off as many or as few as I want in the future. Now that's what I call a bargain. The core kits are very expensive to buy as 'hard' copies and being fickle , I imagine that I'd soon tire of the same design , if I had to stick with it for the entire year. This way I get the best of all worlds.
Here are the pdfs of what each kit includes ... er.... yes I did go and buy another straight away - the first and last cards, which were also $3.99.
There's a huge selection of both 3x4 and 6x 4 cards in both kits.
Now all I have to do is something interesting with my life, that I can photograph , that doesn't involve Lemsip and this hacking cough !
Hmmm... having difficulty uploading pics - looks like they're protected or something .
Anyway ... if you can't see the phots above, you can take a peek here over at AC digitals ....
http://www.acdigitals.com/collections/seafoam-edition
Sunday, 30 December 2012
There are worse things ...
... than being ill over Christmas . Coming downstairs after having been ill for several days is one of them . There's greasy KFC bucket , empty thankfully, sitting by the back door. Not many of their 5 a day in that.
The starched white tablecloth that adorned the Christmas table is now unrecognisably stained , but nobody knows where the washing machine is located . The grocery delivery that I had the foresight to order to arrive on the 29th is sitting in disarray on various kitchen worktops. Thankfully the ice cream was put away in the freezer ... no wait ... the empty tubs are in the living room.
The Christmas tree looks droopy , unloved and unlit. The cat seems to have resorted to eating the bread that was put out on Christmas Day for the birds. The fridge is empty.
Think I may just go back to bed.
The starched white tablecloth that adorned the Christmas table is now unrecognisably stained , but nobody knows where the washing machine is located . The grocery delivery that I had the foresight to order to arrive on the 29th is sitting in disarray on various kitchen worktops. Thankfully the ice cream was put away in the freezer ... no wait ... the empty tubs are in the living room.
The Christmas tree looks droopy , unloved and unlit. The cat seems to have resorted to eating the bread that was put out on Christmas Day for the birds. The fridge is empty.
Think I may just go back to bed.
Saturday, 29 December 2012
Clinical Trials
You know those drug company ads you hear on the radio , favoured by the permanently skint or overdrawn students, asking for volunteers for clinical trials to test new cold remedies ? I have a suggestion for them. If they want to target their audience more precisely just wait until Christmas when all they need do is round up a few hundred Mums who'll have been staving of the germs right up to the finishing line of Christmas day only to succumb on Boxing Day to the mother of all lurgies which will wipe them out until New Years Day and possibly beyond.
They'll be upstairs in a darkened room sweating it out , abandoned and feverish. Not even a boxful of Lemsip washed down with a swig of Baileys will wipe the smile of this virus. That reminds me of this brilliant sketch ...
They'll be upstairs in a darkened room sweating it out , abandoned and feverish. Not even a boxful of Lemsip washed down with a swig of Baileys will wipe the smile of this virus. That reminds me of this brilliant sketch ...
I've finally surfaced from my sick bed and will now be venturing downstairs to see what sort of bomb has gone off. Sense of humour .. if not well-being , is gradually returning.
Thursday, 20 December 2012
'Twas the Week Before Christmas ...
... and all through the house
were a pile of wet trainers
and the cat's half-chewed mouse.
Version One
Five sleeps until Christmas and the presents are carefully wrapped awaiting eager opening on Christmas morning when I'll waft through the house in my silky, chiffon, Christmas, Nicole Fahri outfit ( size 8 ) with a glass of Bolly spiced with freshly squeezed clementine juice in my manicured hand, as my husband bastes the organic goose and my teenagers help to wash up the lobster ravioli dishes from last night's impossibly hip little spontaneous gathering of beautiful people .
Version Two
Five sleeps until Christmas and the smell of last night's oven chips is still clinging to the untouched pile of laundry in the kitchen whilst I , on my hand and knees , attempt to scrub the cat's pee out of the hallway carpet with my husband's toothbrush. The teenagers are annihilating another gang of blood-thirsty zombies on the X Box and I'm still in my grubby fleece PJs , the ones with a hole in the arse.
I'll let you choose which one is true. I have though just read the first few pages of January's Ideal Flipping Perfect Home magazine though, as I sluttishly ate the last of the Quality Street toffee pennies in bed for breakfast this morning. Their editor tells me that in her little world "All is calm , all is bright " and that she's about to traipse out into the forest at 6.30 am for a brisk and frosty dawn walk , treading on a pristine sheet of fresh snow. I'm wondering if her address reads No 1. LaLa Avenue.
OK , now she's crunching along under bare trees, where high above her, clusters of berried mistletoe fill the branches. Later on , page 25 in fact, she's closing her front door , shutting out the noise and finding that instantly all is calm. La La Avenue must be located in a parallel universe far, far from humanity.
I'm wondering if there's a handy hints column on the back page with homely tips on how to remove the smell of cat's pee from seagrass carpet. Now that would be useful.
were a pile of wet trainers
and the cat's half-chewed mouse.
Version One
Five sleeps until Christmas and the presents are carefully wrapped awaiting eager opening on Christmas morning when I'll waft through the house in my silky, chiffon, Christmas, Nicole Fahri outfit ( size 8 ) with a glass of Bolly spiced with freshly squeezed clementine juice in my manicured hand, as my husband bastes the organic goose and my teenagers help to wash up the lobster ravioli dishes from last night's impossibly hip little spontaneous gathering of beautiful people .
Version Two
Five sleeps until Christmas and the smell of last night's oven chips is still clinging to the untouched pile of laundry in the kitchen whilst I , on my hand and knees , attempt to scrub the cat's pee out of the hallway carpet with my husband's toothbrush. The teenagers are annihilating another gang of blood-thirsty zombies on the X Box and I'm still in my grubby fleece PJs , the ones with a hole in the arse.
I'll let you choose which one is true. I have though just read the first few pages of January's Ideal Flipping Perfect Home magazine though, as I sluttishly ate the last of the Quality Street toffee pennies in bed for breakfast this morning. Their editor tells me that in her little world "All is calm , all is bright " and that she's about to traipse out into the forest at 6.30 am for a brisk and frosty dawn walk , treading on a pristine sheet of fresh snow. I'm wondering if her address reads No 1. LaLa Avenue.
OK , now she's crunching along under bare trees, where high above her, clusters of berried mistletoe fill the branches. Later on , page 25 in fact, she's closing her front door , shutting out the noise and finding that instantly all is calm. La La Avenue must be located in a parallel universe far, far from humanity.
I'm wondering if there's a handy hints column on the back page with homely tips on how to remove the smell of cat's pee from seagrass carpet. Now that would be useful.
Friday, 14 December 2012
I'm so in love with my Cameo
I've been Christmas crafting now the boys have broken up from school and college and there are no more school runs or homework to worry about . Lunch is a moveable feast and the X Box is their guilty pleasure ( and mine ... not playing on it but letting them ) . Some of the Christmas chocolate has been broken open, countered by the occasional satsuma and we're already on our second tub of brandy butter .
I used to make the mistake of leaving all the goodies until Christmas day and beyond but it makes more sense to spread the carbohydrate love around a little earlier and enjoy it all for longer. So whilst youngest son has been downstairs massacring the global zombie population and eldest has been upstairs facebooking for England , I've been tucked away creating little items of loveliness such as this ...
I used to make the mistake of leaving all the goodies until Christmas day and beyond but it makes more sense to spread the carbohydrate love around a little earlier and enjoy it all for longer. So whilst youngest son has been downstairs massacring the global zombie population and eldest has been upstairs facebooking for England , I've been tucked away creating little items of loveliness such as this ...
and these .... my Christmas cards
and this .....
All made with my Cameo. Is there anything this wonder machine can't do ? I bought the frosted glass vinyl and the transfer paper from Crafts U Love , which makes projects like these a breeze. I don't think the photo above does it justice. I bought the hurricane lamp vase and candle from Homebase for £5 . The addition of the deer and some star trees transform it into a delightful gift but I'm not sure I can part with it now.
I love the " Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good Night " phrase but hadn't realised , as it's adhered to my craft room window , that Santa will only be able to read " thgin doog a lla ot dna lla ot samtsirhC yrreM" as he flies by . Hey ho ho ho .... or should that be oh oh oh ?
Thursday, 29 November 2012
This Cake is to Die For
Courtesy of The Hummingbird Cafe's Cake Days cookbook, I attempted a boozy chocolate cake for my son's 18th , made with Guinness. Oh Boy .
I can vouch for keeping it in the fridge so that it takes on an almost fudge like consistency.
I can vouch for keeping it in the fridge so that it takes on an almost fudge like consistency.
Chocolate Guinness Cake
250ml Guinness
250g unsalted butter
80g cocoa powder
400g caster sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla essence
140ml buttermilk
280g plain flour
2 tspm bicarbonate of soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
Frosting:
50g unsalted butter
300g icing sugar
125g soft cream cheese
cocoa powder for dusting
- Oven Gas Mark 3 or 170 C / 325 F
- Pour the Guinness into a saucepan with the butter and melt
- Remove from heat and stir in cocoa and sugar
- Mix eggs , vanilla and buttermilk in a separate bowl then add to the pan
- Sift remaining dry ingredients and place in a mixer bowl
- Add contents of saucepan and using the paddle attachment or a hand held whisk , mix on slow speed
- Pour batter into 9" springform cake tin - I baked mine for 45 mins but keep an eye on it after 30'
- For the frosting just mix everything together until smooth
- Smother your cake in the stuff ( I actually made double quantity )
- Sprinkle with cocoa powder then refridgerate
My son confessed to not really liking cakes ( can he really be my son ?) but loved this one. Maybe the alcoholic content helped. I was tempted to bung the empty Guinness bottle in the middle for a laugh - maybe next time and there will SO be a next time. I'm off for a slice now .
The photo doesn't show off the cake to its best advantage but it shows off my lovely boy's gorgeous smile and who cares what the cake looks like - the proof of the pudding and all that.
Tuesday, 27 November 2012
Eighteen
It would be tempting to do the schmalzy " Now that you're a man ... " type blog entry to celebrate my eldest son's 18th birthday but as that's not my style , I offer you my alternative take - on the theme of survival.
I'm A Mother , Get Me Out of Here
18 helpful hints on how to survive motherhood from birth to 18 :
1. Forget the Pre-Nup agreement with your other half. When you're pregnant with Number One, get a lawyer to draw up an infallible list of sleeping entitlement and chore assignment.
2. Assume , if you have boys, that they will hate all ball sports . That way if they use the goalposts as monkey bars during their first footie match or score a try ( for the other side ) in their first rugby match you will not be disappointed. Thank your lucky stars that you will not be standing on the touchline, or whatever it's called, shouting like a fishwife.
3. Buy 3 of every item of school uniform because the first 2 will be lost within a week of starting school. On that note , buy iron in name-tapes. No-one likes a martyr.
4. Buy all alcohol by the case. Cheaper in the long run . Let's face it , a bottle of wine never goes off and it will save draining the last dregs, in a moment of desperation, of a bottle of that ill-advised holiday purchase of a bottle of Limoncello.
5. Keep Packets of Nurofen by the bedside ( see above )
6. Assume that if you get ill , your husband / partner will too and his symptoms will be far worse than yours and doubtless warrant a week's bed-rest whilst you soldier on.
7. Hide all bottles of food colouring. They will prove irresistible to curious boys . I can still picture that day at the school gates, watching my son's entire class emerge wearing green stained shirts with the sound of " Mrs F ... can I have a word " from the class teacher ringing in my ears.
8. Keep all old tea towels. At some stage in your son's dramatic acting career he will be cast as a shepherd in he Nativity play and you will not want to fashion a suitable head-dress , with less than 24 hours notice, from your favourite Cath Kidston. Know also that if given a toy sheep to hold as a prop , your son will attempt to BBQ it on the orange cellophane Nativity fire, around which your angelic shepherd will be seated.
9. Parents Evening - I'd really rather not go there .... literally.
10. Don't bother choosing nice carpet. You won't see it for the next few years . It will be buried under a pile of primary coloured plastic and lego bricks ( on the subject of the latter, always wear slippers when negotiating a lego strewn floor - ever stepped on a brick in bare feet ? You'll know what I mean ) . If you must have a floor covering - choose the natural fibre stuff that can hide a crushed packet of digestives with ease although bear in mind that vomit removal requires a toothpick .
11. Birthday parties - someone will always cry or be sick or both. Don't book clowns they're just too weird and preferably hold them some place other than your home.
12. Learn to love your washing machine . You will spend more time in its company than your husband - maybe no bad thing and possibly better company. Whilst you make one sweater last for three outings all other members of your family will seemingly change their outfits twice a day. Buy industrial quantities of washing powder and not the liquid capsules which your naughty boy will sneak into school for amusement value ( " Mrs F .. can I have a word " )
13. When crossing school playgrounds, walk quickly and if you hear the words " Mrs F .... can I have a word ? " feign deafness and run very fast.
14. Exam revision - it won't happen. You can draw up revision timetables to your heart's content but they will remain pristine and untouched for the duration of exam week and thereafter.
15. Homework - see above . Also , buy shares in CGP. Parents will know what this stands for although I'm darned if I do even after all these years and I've read a few in my time . Understand that comments such as " Why can't you help him with his Physics homework - you did it for A Level " aimed at your spouse will fall on deaf ears and you will have to become an expert on Kinetic Energy and Wave Theory regardless.
16. Avoid anything to do with the PTA unless you believe that the school will be so pitifully grateful for your Christmas Fair / Book Sale / Quiz NIght help that they cannot possibly entertain the idea of expelling your child from school for minor misdemeanors such as bringing bottle of green food colouring into school .
17. Smoking . It will happen. Your teenager might even take it up too.
18. Enjoy the ride . Thankfully it doesn't last forever . When they reach eighteen you will just about have got used to whatever fresh new hell presents itself along the way and then they'll leave home and you won't know what to do with yourself apart from drain the last of the dregs of that bottle of Limoncello and maybe sew in a few name-tapes for old times' sake.
I'm A Mother , Get Me Out of Here
18 helpful hints on how to survive motherhood from birth to 18 :
1. Forget the Pre-Nup agreement with your other half. When you're pregnant with Number One, get a lawyer to draw up an infallible list of sleeping entitlement and chore assignment.
2. Assume , if you have boys, that they will hate all ball sports . That way if they use the goalposts as monkey bars during their first footie match or score a try ( for the other side ) in their first rugby match you will not be disappointed. Thank your lucky stars that you will not be standing on the touchline, or whatever it's called, shouting like a fishwife.
3. Buy 3 of every item of school uniform because the first 2 will be lost within a week of starting school. On that note , buy iron in name-tapes. No-one likes a martyr.
4. Buy all alcohol by the case. Cheaper in the long run . Let's face it , a bottle of wine never goes off and it will save draining the last dregs, in a moment of desperation, of a bottle of that ill-advised holiday purchase of a bottle of Limoncello.
5. Keep Packets of Nurofen by the bedside ( see above )
6. Assume that if you get ill , your husband / partner will too and his symptoms will be far worse than yours and doubtless warrant a week's bed-rest whilst you soldier on.
7. Hide all bottles of food colouring. They will prove irresistible to curious boys . I can still picture that day at the school gates, watching my son's entire class emerge wearing green stained shirts with the sound of " Mrs F ... can I have a word " from the class teacher ringing in my ears.
8. Keep all old tea towels. At some stage in your son's dramatic acting career he will be cast as a shepherd in he Nativity play and you will not want to fashion a suitable head-dress , with less than 24 hours notice, from your favourite Cath Kidston. Know also that if given a toy sheep to hold as a prop , your son will attempt to BBQ it on the orange cellophane Nativity fire, around which your angelic shepherd will be seated.
9. Parents Evening - I'd really rather not go there .... literally.
10. Don't bother choosing nice carpet. You won't see it for the next few years . It will be buried under a pile of primary coloured plastic and lego bricks ( on the subject of the latter, always wear slippers when negotiating a lego strewn floor - ever stepped on a brick in bare feet ? You'll know what I mean ) . If you must have a floor covering - choose the natural fibre stuff that can hide a crushed packet of digestives with ease although bear in mind that vomit removal requires a toothpick .
11. Birthday parties - someone will always cry or be sick or both. Don't book clowns they're just too weird and preferably hold them some place other than your home.
12. Learn to love your washing machine . You will spend more time in its company than your husband - maybe no bad thing and possibly better company. Whilst you make one sweater last for three outings all other members of your family will seemingly change their outfits twice a day. Buy industrial quantities of washing powder and not the liquid capsules which your naughty boy will sneak into school for amusement value ( " Mrs F .. can I have a word " )
13. When crossing school playgrounds, walk quickly and if you hear the words " Mrs F .... can I have a word ? " feign deafness and run very fast.
14. Exam revision - it won't happen. You can draw up revision timetables to your heart's content but they will remain pristine and untouched for the duration of exam week and thereafter.
15. Homework - see above . Also , buy shares in CGP. Parents will know what this stands for although I'm darned if I do even after all these years and I've read a few in my time . Understand that comments such as " Why can't you help him with his Physics homework - you did it for A Level " aimed at your spouse will fall on deaf ears and you will have to become an expert on Kinetic Energy and Wave Theory regardless.
16. Avoid anything to do with the PTA unless you believe that the school will be so pitifully grateful for your Christmas Fair / Book Sale / Quiz NIght help that they cannot possibly entertain the idea of expelling your child from school for minor misdemeanors such as bringing bottle of green food colouring into school .
17. Smoking . It will happen. Your teenager might even take it up too.
18. Enjoy the ride . Thankfully it doesn't last forever . When they reach eighteen you will just about have got used to whatever fresh new hell presents itself along the way and then they'll leave home and you won't know what to do with yourself apart from drain the last of the dregs of that bottle of Limoncello and maybe sew in a few name-tapes for old times' sake.
Happy Birthday Love
Thursday, 22 November 2012
Glitterfest
Funny how trends come and go. A decade ago I wouldn't have been seen dead with a pot of glitter in my hand but now I can't get enough of it. Maybe it's an antidote to the economic gloom and dark nights or maybe I'm just transported back to my childhood when Christmas came accompanied by a healthy dollop of the stuff. Christmas cards and advent calendars would be festooned with it . I can even remember the smell of it in its little glass red rubber- stoppered phial , that and the aroma of 'gloy' which would be used to transform the toilet roll tube choir boys with the ping-pong heads. Happy days.
I was therefore more than happy to spend an evening surrounded by the stuff last night at Attic - my favourite shop's Christmas shopping evening. If Santa's reading this - one of everything please. In fact , better still, I may just dispatch the boys there one weekend to choose for me. Even if you blundered around the shop blindfold ( not suggesting that they do of course ) - whatever you laid your hands on would be beautiful. The knitted tree in the background came from Next but the other lovelies are all from Attic.
I remember my mother having an ancient tin of christmas cake decorations which came out year after year which included plaster santa figures and bottle brush trees just like the ones below. If we were lucky they'd still be encrusted with the previous year's icing which we would nibble. I don't think salmonella had been invented back then.
I was therefore more than happy to spend an evening surrounded by the stuff last night at Attic - my favourite shop's Christmas shopping evening. If Santa's reading this - one of everything please. In fact , better still, I may just dispatch the boys there one weekend to choose for me. Even if you blundered around the shop blindfold ( not suggesting that they do of course ) - whatever you laid your hands on would be beautiful. The knitted tree in the background came from Next but the other lovelies are all from Attic.
I remember my mother having an ancient tin of christmas cake decorations which came out year after year which included plaster santa figures and bottle brush trees just like the ones below. If we were lucky they'd still be encrusted with the previous year's icing which we would nibble. I don't think salmonella had been invented back then.
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