Thursday 10 April 2014

I think I may have turned into a de-cluttering bore ...

... in fact I know I have . It's my last thought at night as the lights go out and my first waking thought . I'm heartily bored of it all myself and I keep asking myself HOW on earth did I let all my clutter build up like this  as if I didn't know the answer.

There's a timeline to de-cluttering . It starts with the desire to make space in your life , followed by a surge of energy at having broached the subject . This is quickly followed by a trip to a DIY store to get  the latest Dulux brochure. You start lusting after shelving systems, cupboards and storage boxes online into the wee small hours of the night .

There's then a bit of a delay whilst you summon up the energy ., a spot of procrastination perhaps about how it's not quite the right time. The first day is promising , the second is singularly unpromising and sometimes you don't get past the third day . There then comes a plateau followed by renewed vigour and then an all time slump into miserable depression by the end of the first week , assuming yo get that far.

If you manage to choose a paint colour , some new carpet and a curtain or blind this is called progress. At some stage of the proceedings you will become excessively grumpy and then whoa .... a flash of ruthlessness. The bin bags start piling up and you realise you could keep Oxfam in used goods for at least a decade. At some point you'll realise you need more extra strong bin bags - you're on a roll, literally.

When the furniture gets moved out into every available nook and cranny in the house in the days leading up to the painting you can pat yourself on the back at getting this far. The fact that you have to catapult yourself into bed from the other side of the room because there's a wall a boxes by your bedside , is a small price to pay ( although the novelty wears off quickly when you get up in the middle of the night to pee and can't get to the door before your pelvic floor goes. )

So we're 2 days and counting before the lid gets prised off the tin of Farrow and Ball Off White . The carpet is ordered ( acid test - if you can crush a handful of Digestives and watch the crumbs disappear into the pile it's a goer ) ,  I've splurged on those American shutters and may even stretch to a couple of new lamps.

Now the only problem is this. Lovely neutral shades of decorative gorgeousness on the walls, luscious slate grey on the floor , calming decorative accessories , natural baskets etc but then all the stash will go back in and it'll look as if the Dulux paint mixing machine has exploded in there. It's going to look like a technicolour acid trip on every shelf unless I discretely hide it behind closed doors in which case I'll never use the half of it as I'll never know what's there.

When you browse on Pinterest for Craft-room inspiration , they seem to fall into two camps :

Camp One - Boudoir style, over-frilly, pink nonsense where no crafting whatsoever goes on but the walls are awash with jokey quotes like " If in doubt just add glitter "

Camp Two - A mad assortment of every Rubber-Maid plastic storage option ever manufactured in various shades of purple and lime green.

I'm not sure I fall into either camp , so I'll have to make it up as I go along... but I won't be adding glitter.

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